Wednesday, January 12, 2011


HUGE points if you get the title, without the help of Google.  Crafting has been a bit slow here lately, though I have been playing video games, and watching a ton of Mythbusters on Netflix.

Back in October I was working for In and Out, when a professional friend of my father's, to whom he had sent my resume, said "hey I have this job opening, would Jessamy be interested?  "  I said yes I was, and was promptly interviewed.  And I got the job, on a temp to hire basis as I didn't have three or more years of administrative work.  About three weeks ago I became a "real" employee, with benefits and a salary and a 401K.  I should be immensely proud of myself, having landed a grown-up job fresh out of college.

However, I can't seem to shake the feeling that I'm making a really big mistake not exploring a bit more.  I have almost stopped crafting, I work 8 hours a day and my commute is roughly an hour and a half round trip.  I come home exhausted, with no energy and feeling like I don't recognize the person staring back from the mirror.  I really like the people I am working with, which makes it all a little better, but I feel like I have no time for myself, or a life anymore.  Crafting, and sewing have fallen by the wayside, and theatre seems like a distant dream.  I come home every day sit on the couch for a few hours, fall asleep, get up early the next day and repeat.  This is not what I wanted for myself at 25, I didn't move home to work constantly and not have any time for anything else.  I am saving up money, but I feel worn down and irritable.

I need some way to recapture that spark, so I don't get stuck in a rut doing something that is not fulfilling.  I envy those friends who though broke, are figuring out ways to have adventures, while I go to work.  Please help me think of ways I can live this life, and still be me, still explore and learn, still be creative, still dream and create.  These are the things other than the basic necessities that I truly NEED to thrive.  Help me find my way


  1. Having a real job (and a real commute) sounds wretched. :( :(

    Even though it may seem like it now, you're not going to be stuck with this job forever! Something else (lots of something elses) will come along!

    If I were in your situation, I'd put some effort into un-exhausting somehow (more food? more sleep? exercise?), or trick myself into doing something small, but creative and inspiring. For example, sometimes when I visit Adam and all I want to do is curl up on a couch and veg out, I tell him about something that I want to learn and then we go investigate it together and wind up programming something. This happens less when I'm by myself... external pressure is important... also important is the mini-project not being too large and daunting such that you can actually complete it and feel good and satisfied. What is the easiest thing you can sew?

  2. Man, I hear ya, hon. I felt that way for years. it's hard to balance a full-time job, a long commute, and a serious relationship.

    Could you use your commute time for crafting? Take a little knitting project? Perhaps you could read plays or theater magazines on the bus? How about your weekends? Perhaps you could devote one weekend a month to having some you-time creatively. Lock yourself in your room with your sewing machine.

    The important thing is to not be hard on yourself. You're going through a huge life change, and it's going to take some getting used to. You'll find a way to carve a creative space into your life. You're too creative a person not to!

  3. Hey! You are not alone there hon! I've been experiencing the same feeling, that I should be crafting more, doing more, writing more, living more life, that kind of thing. Something wild or exciting or what not. But having a job and stability and the chance to save up some money is a great opportunity: it might not be glamorous, but it's this kind of hard work now that pays off later in security and the chance to do the things you love. And you'll always have your friends ^^

  4. Thanks guys. I have started making a scarf that I (Almost) just made up the pattern for. I was going to audition this weekend, but I was sick so, next year it is for the Shakespeare festival. I am trying to remind myself that I can be creative, no matter what. Thanks for the gentle butt-kicks.