Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Blackbird

HUGE points if you get the title, without the help of Google.  Crafting has been a bit slow here lately, though I have been playing video games, and watching a ton of Mythbusters on Netflix.

Back in October I was working for In and Out, when a professional friend of my father's, to whom he had sent my resume, said "hey I have this job opening, would Jessamy be interested?  "  I said yes I was, and was promptly interviewed.  And I got the job, on a temp to hire basis as I didn't have three or more years of administrative work.  About three weeks ago I became a "real" employee, with benefits and a salary and a 401K.  I should be immensely proud of myself, having landed a grown-up job fresh out of college.

However, I can't seem to shake the feeling that I'm making a really big mistake not exploring a bit more.  I have almost stopped crafting, I work 8 hours a day and my commute is roughly an hour and a half round trip.  I come home exhausted, with no energy and feeling like I don't recognize the person staring back from the mirror.  I really like the people I am working with, which makes it all a little better, but I feel like I have no time for myself, or a life anymore.  Crafting, and sewing have fallen by the wayside, and theatre seems like a distant dream.  I come home every day sit on the couch for a few hours, fall asleep, get up early the next day and repeat.  This is not what I wanted for myself at 25, I didn't move home to work constantly and not have any time for anything else.  I am saving up money, but I feel worn down and irritable.

I need some way to recapture that spark, so I don't get stuck in a rut doing something that is not fulfilling.  I envy those friends who though broke, are figuring out ways to have adventures, while I go to work.  Please help me think of ways I can live this life, and still be me, still explore and learn, still be creative, still dream and create.  These are the things other than the basic necessities that I truly NEED to thrive.  Help me find my way